forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
