I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
