Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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