Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
