At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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