My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
