And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize