Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
