True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
