lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
