When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
