How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My vagina just clenched in fear
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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