I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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