and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
