you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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