I am spending my child support on dildos
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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