I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
so much tequila, so little girl.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
