$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
