I want to make a zoo with you.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
