I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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