fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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