Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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