is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
