Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
wow bdsm is so cute
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