I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
