i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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