i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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