3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
