i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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