there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
