my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
