You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i need some magic done to my vagina
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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