don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
