Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
