I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
