some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
