Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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