You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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