Whod you bang
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize