Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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