i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
