hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
