i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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