Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just had sex on a roof
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
