My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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