Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
