Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
