Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want to make out with him forever
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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