he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Even my vagina gasped.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
