But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
