ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
