We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize