You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
