Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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