Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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