I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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