I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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