I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize