We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
