Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
