This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
