I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i think my cat just said my name.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
