i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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