A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
