just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
